Final Remarks

Well here are the final remarks of a 24 year old, as in less than half an hour it'll be my birthday. I guess I'll try and sum up the last 24.X years... lets see if I learned anything. Well like most people I now realize that I should have enjoyed myself more as a kid. That goes for high school and college as well. Its amazing how much time and opportuniry was just wasted away. Some of the time wasn't a complete loss, I did get a lot of good daydreaming time in over the years.

I think my life has been a number of baby steps, as I inch my way forward never wanting to risk too much. I'll admit I'm a little selfish, but I also want others to be happy. So this has helped in my isolation, as the best way to do the things I want is to avoid other people and all their needs. Well I'm also a little critical of myself, so perhaps you shouldn't take such statements so seriously. Whatever.

I've meet lots of good people over the years, and made a few great friendships. Friends and family seems to be the most important thing of all. I've gone through all the steps that I can do myself; get through school, get the nice job, etc... Now I've just got to figure out where I'm supposed to go from here. I've still got plenty of dreams to try and make real... just have to figure out how to do it.

Well enough of this... the future beckons.

Names

What's is a name? A label, an identifier, and the symbol of self we ascribe to ourselves. From the earliest stirrings of conscientiousness we are greeted with this attribute of definition handed down to us by those that brought us into the world. So, what does your name mean?

If you look up my name, Adam, you find that its of course the name of the first man ever to have one. The name literally means "earth", and apparently isn't used as a name in the language it comes from. The name is used for "man", as in a person. So I suppose I really don't have a name of my own, I'm just some human or another. Just another sack of dirt pretending to be alive for a while, until such time that I return to the ground. This is me.

Now I also came across a site that proclaims that my name has influence on my life, and thus plays with the threads of fate. I don't know how much stock I put into that, especially when you consider the same description came up for three of my friends' names. Its still fun to look at though, and in my opinion the description for my name fits me rather well.

So does your name hold special power over you, and what happens if you changed your name? In such a case, what is your true name? Is it something held deep inside, only to revealed at some important moment?

Who knows?

Party

I went to a party last night. Its been a while since I've been to a normal old party, probably not since I had a roommate. That of course was about 2 years ago. Speaking of my old roommate, he would have been quite pleased with this party since there were about 6 girls there with red hair. He had a thing for redheads... granted he's married now so I guess he can't even enjoy that anymore, pity.

The party offered wonderful flashbacks to others I've been to. Watching all the funny little people get themselves more and more intoxicated as the night wears on. It was fun, but I just don't think I fit in with that kind of scene. No, I didn't have anything to drink. I really wasn't in the mood, and my natural tendancy is to hold onto my faculties as best I can when entering into a new situation. Sorry, its just the way I am. I did devour half a bag of ranch flavored ruffles... they were REALLY good. So see, I found something else I liked through that experience.

:b

Tablet

Okay, so I got myself a Wacom tablet and its pretty darn spiffy. I have only one problem with it and its probably not its fault. From time to time windows decides not to see the tablet anymore. When that happens (or at least in Win98) everything locks up and anything I'm working on is toast, so I decided to update to Windows 2000. The upgrade went fine, but I've spent the last 2 days downloading services packs, patches, and the like. All in all it wasn't a lot of fun. Of course the tablet still crashes, but I'm thinking thats my motherboards fault. The trick is that with Win2K I get a chance to save my work, which helps lots.

I've been playing with the tablet some, and plan to practice more with it. I hoping to post something good after a while. I spent the evening playing blitzball in FFX, but that's only because I'm trying to get all the overdrives for Wakka so don't fault me for it. Once I'm done with that, no more blitzball for me.

I'm sure there's a point to life... maybe I'll stumble across it one of these days, but until then FFX (among other distractions) can fill the void.

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